Many parents,
when they learn of their child’s disability, need to grieve…not for the child,
but for the idea of what they thought parenting would be. They must process
through the grief of what they may not be able to have, while coming to terms
with the new reality of what they can have. This is not easy.
Shouldn’t
supporting families through such challenges be the very nature of the work of a
religious community?
I think
that many educators consider grief counseling to be the work of clergy. Too
often we compartmentalize our congregant’s needs into “clergy stuff’ and
“school stuff”. But when a child with special needs significantly struggles in
religious school, parents can be thrown back into the grief cycle, this time
wondering if they will have to give up on their idea of bar/bat mitzvah (not to
mention Confirmation, Jewish marriage or many other significant Jewish life
cycle events).
How,
in the midst of all of this, is anyone expected to keep faith?